Thanks to the excellent blog Ian Visits for discovering this hilarious Two Ronnies sketch where they have a conversation on a train using the names of London Tube stations.
It’s a superb piece of comedic writing.
RB: Oh, High Barnet.
RC: Mornington Crescent.
RB: ‘ere, don’t Strand up there, Old Street, Regents Park your Barkingside down there.
RC: There we are. Well, I must say it’s Chorleywood to see you again. Harrow-on-the-Hill are you?
RB: Oh, mustn’t grumble. Still getting them pains in me Dalston Junction. Epping nuisance, they are. What about Euston?
RC: Ah, Fairlop to Marylebone thanks, you know. Tottenham Hale and Highbury most of the time.
RB: What about the missus?
RC: Oh, well.
RB: Oh, Dollis Hill, is she?
RC: No, no, Chigwell. Oh yeah, Chigwell, the old Elephant and Castle.
RB: And your brother-in-law, what’s his name?
RC: What, Greenford, you mean?
RC: Oh, still very
RB: A bit Queensway, is he?
RC: Yeah, Brent as Notting Hill Gate as a matter of fact. Mixing with a very funny crowd ‘n’ all. you know
RB: I heard that. He was going around with the Theydon Bois at one time, wasn’t he? Big fellas, aren’t they?
RB: Well, it was Islington down about six o’clock this morning, won’t it.
RC: Absolutely poured with Rayners Lane. Very Wembley Parky out there ‘n’ all now, you know.
RB: Still, good for the Covent Garden, isn’t it?
RC: What, all that Bayswater you mean?
RB: Yeah, Turnham Green that will. Here, my wife wanted to Dagenham up the old Arnos Grove, plant something Bushey and Oxhey instead.
RC: She know a lot about Kew Gardens, then?
RB: No, Vauxhall as a matter of fact. Watford High Street’s the matter with you?
RC: Earls Court up in my Hatch End, I think. There we are, that’s Becontree.
RB: Here, you fancy a Putney after work down the Angel?
RC: More than my Rickmansworth. My wife thinks I’m Maida Vale as it is. If I Ruislip down the Angel I’ll very probably end up all Totteridge and Whetstone. There’ll be Hammersmith to pay when I get home.
RB: Bit of an Aldwych your old lady, is she, eh? Yeah, mine’s just the same. I have to get down on my Hampsteads and Neasdens if I want to go for a Pimlico, you know.
RC: Rotherhithe than me. What’s this? Ah, here we are. That’s it. Aldgate off here, Watford about you?
RB: No, Cockfosters.
RC: Tooting Bec for now, then.
RB: Tooting Bec.
RB: Oi ‘ere, you left your Barbican. Silly Arsenal.